Bhaiya Ka Khayal Main Rakhoon Gi – Update 6

Ist page: 20-04 2000.(Yeh tarikh us accident ke 3 din pehle ki hai)

Viru, aaj main bahut khush hun. Muje laga ke London jane ke baad tum muje bhool jaoge per 12-12 1999 ko jab tumne muje shadi ke liye propose kiya to main ek dam hairaan reh gei. Main us wakt tumse bahut baaten karna chahti thi lekin muje jaan pada. Mera last semester tha aur main miss nahin karna chahti thi. Tum bhi to yahi chahte they ke main engineer banu. Itne mahinoon se na main tumse contact kar saki aur na tumne koi phone kiya. Main janti hun ke tum mujse naraz honge. Lekin ab main a gei hun, sari narazgi dur karne. Maine apni ek manzil paa li hai aur ab main wapis a gei hun tumhe haasil karne.

Yeh diary meri taraf se ek choti si bhent hai. Tumhari jo bhi narazgi hai tum muje isper likh ker bata sakte ho kyunki muje pata hai tum muje kuch bologe nahin aur kisi ke samne baat karne se to tum rahe. Lagta hai hamari shadi ki baat bhi muje he apne gharwaloon se karni padegi. Main 3 din baad tumhare gahr Madhu se milne aaungi, tum jo likhna chahte ho is diary main likh ker muje chori se pakd dena.
Waise ek baat bolun “I LOVE YOU TOO VIRU”.
Ashna ek ek lafz ko dhayan se pad rahi thi. Usne agla panna palta.

20-04-2000:

wohoooooooo, I love you Rupali. Tum nahin janti aaj main kitna khush hun. Tumko London main hamesha miss kiya aur ghar aane per pata lage ke tum Banglore main Engg. karne chali gei ho. Main janta tah ke tum mujse pyaar karti ho per kehne se darti ho, isiliye maine himmat karke tumhe us din propose kar diya. Us din achanak tum mili to main reh nahin paya, maine apne pyar ka izhaar ker diya per tum bina kuch bole he chali gei. Mian kafi dar geya tha ke shayad tum mujse pyar nahin karti. Agar us din tumhare papa sath na hote to main bhi tumhare sath Banglore a jata. Khair koi baat nahin, main tumse kabhi naraz nahin tha aur na he kabhi hounga.
kal mom-dad aur Madhu, chachu ke ghar ja rahe hain, unke aate he main unse baat kar lunga hamari shadi ki. Tum meri ho Rupali. Main tumhe har haal main paa kar rahunga. Miane abhi tak apne aap ko sambhal ker rakha hai aur asha karta hun ke tum bhi mere jazbaatoon ki kadar karogi aur muje ruswa nahin karogi.Bas itna hi likhunga is diary main. Apne dil ka haal main tumhe milke tumhari ankhoon main dekh ker kahunga .

Aur haan ho sake to yeh diary muje jald wapis kar dena taki main un paloon ke baare main likh sakun jo ab muje tumhare bin guzarne hain jab tak tum meri nahin ho jati.
Ashna ne bed ke sath rakhe stool se pani ka glass uthaya aur use peene lagi. pani itna thanda tha ke wo sip karke use peena pada. Ashna ka shareer quilt ki wajah se kafi garam ho geya tha. Sip by sip pani peene se use kafi sukoon mil raha tha Ashna ne mobile main time dekha abhi sirf 11:00 he baje they. Usne sari diary aaj raat he padne ki than li aur fir se bed per quilt ke andar ghus ker agla panna palta.

27-05 2000.

Aaj kafi dinoon ke baad diary likhne baitha hun. In beete dinoon main maine bahut kuch khoya hai. Mere maa-baap, meri choti ladli behan, mere chachu sab muje akela chod ker hamesha ke liye is duniya se chale gey hain. 23-04-2000 ka din main kabhia nahin bhul sakta. us din main kafi khush tha. Apne family members ka wait kar raha tha aur unhein khushkhabri dena chahta tha ke maine unki bahu doondh li hai per shayad bhagwan ko yeh khushi manzoor nahin thi. Mera pura parivaar is hadse ka shikaar ho geya tha. Wo din mujse sab kuch cheen ker guzar geya tha. Main is kadar sadme main chala geya tha ke meri chacheri behan Ashna ka bhi muje koi khayal na raha. Main use zara bhi sambhal nahin paya. 28-04-2010 ko wo bhi mujse naraz hoker chali gei. main use rokna chahta tha per mujme itni himmat nahin thi ke main uska masoom chehra dekh sakta. Us bechari ne itni choti umer main kuch he saaloon main apne maa- baap ko kho diya tha. Main uski har zaroorat to puri kar sakta hun per uske maa- baap ki kami ko pura nahin kar sakta. Isiliye maine use rokne ki koshish bhi nahin ki. Shayad agar use main rok leta to use muje aur muje use sambhalna nahut mushkil hota. Itne saal ghar se bahar rehne ke karan mujmain kuch social kamiyaan thi jis karan main use khush na rakh pata, isiliye uska dur jana he uske liye theek tha.

Yeh padte padte Ashna ki ankhoon se aansu tapak kar diary per gir pade. Jis insaan ko wo matlabi samajti thi wo uske liye itna sochta hai use is cheez ka kabhi ehsaas he nahin hua. Jis gunah ke liye wo Virender ko saza de rahi thi wo gunah virender ne kabhi kiya he nahin aur agar kiya bhi to uski bhalayi ke liye. Ashna ka man zor zor se rone ko kar raha tha. Usne kisi tarah apne aap ko sambhala aur diary padne lagi. Har ek panna pad ker Virender ki izzat Ashna ki nazroon main badne lagi. Use pata chala ke kais Virender ne use kei bar milne ki koshish ki per Ashna ne hamesha use ignore kiya. Jahan tak ke ek baar Virender khud usse milne Uske boarding school main aaya per usne apni saheli ko yeh kehke Virender ko wapis bhej diya ke Ashna Educational tour per gei hai. Ashna in sab ke liye apne aap ko kose ja rahi thi.Kuch panne padney ke baad Ashna ko pata laga ke Rupali ke baar baar samjane per Virender wo hadsa nahin bhul pa raha tha. Rupali ne Kise usse shadi ki baat ki to Virender ne saaf mana kar diya ke use ek saal tak wait karna padega. Magar Ruplai ne use 4 mahinoon ka wakt diya aur chali gei. Virender ne kafi baar usse milne ki koshish ki per wo har baar shadi ki zid karti aur is tarah dhere- dhere donoon main differences badtey gey. Virender ko yakeen tha ke Rupali dhere dhere maan jayegi. Magar uska yakeen us din toota jis din Rupali ske ghar use apni shadi ka card dene aayi. Un lamhoon ke Virender ne kaise bayaan kiya use pura padna Ashna ke bas ka nahin tha.. Virender use beinteha mohabbat karta tha per Rupali uski mohabbat thukraker kis aur ki hone wali thi. Virender ne dil per pathat rakhker usse shadi karne ka bhi kaha per Rupali ne use yeh kehkar thukra diya ke wo ek normal zindagi shayad he dobara jee paye. Virender ne use laakh samjane ki koshish ki ke wo dhere dhere normal ho raha hai aur us hadse ko bhulane ki koshish kar raha hai. Virender ne use yahan tak kaha ke agar Rupali sath de to wo jald se jald ek normal zindagi je sakega. Magar Rupali ne uska dil yeh kehker tod diya ke Virender ab kafi der ho chuki hai. Jab tum mujse dur jane lago to Avinash( Ruplai’s would be) ne muje sahara diya. Usne muje bataya ke ek normal mard ek ladki ko kaise khush rakh sakta hai. Muje to shak hei ke tum iske layak bhi ho ya nahin.

Itna sab padne ke baad Ashna ko rupali se nafrat si ho gei. Ashna sochne lagi ke Rupali kaisi ladki hogi Jo Virender ke pavitar pyar ko thukraker kisi aur ke bahoon main chali gei. Kya ladkiyoon ko sirf sahara chaiye jo ek se na mila to wo ducri taraf chali jayengi. Pyar aisa to nahin hota. Halanki usne kabhi kisi se pyar nahin kiya per uska dil yeh manne ko tayiaar nahin tha ke kaise ek insaan itna ghir jata hai ke wo kisi se aseem pyar ki kurbani dene se bhi nahin katrata.

Ashna ne ghadi ki taraf dekha jo ki raat ka 1:00 baja rahi thi. Ashna ne apni aankhen pochi aur aage padna shuru kiya. Aage zyadatar pages per usak Rupali ko manana likha tha per wo nahin maani aur Avinash sa shadi kar li. Virender ne likha ke us din wo saara din ghar se bahar nahin nikla. Uske baad to jaise uski routine si bangei. Gahr se office, office se ghar. Bas itni hi zindagi reh gei thi Virender ki. Agale kafi pages per har din dates ke hisaab se thoda bahut he likha tah. Per uspe itni baar overwrite kiya geya tha ke Ashna ko use padna bahut mushkil ho geya tha. Har line ke end main likha hota “I love you rupali, please come back, I can’t live without you”. Uske baad to her line per bas Rupali ka he naam tha jismain Virender usse mafi mangta usse gidgidata. Ashna sochne lagi ke Virender kitna bhola insaan hai ke wo Rupali ke dhoke ko apni galti maan kar dil he dil main ghut raha hai. Sari diary khatam karte karte Ashna ko 3:30 baj gey. Jaise he wo diary ke middle main pahunci, ek date ne use chounka diya.