Update 21
“samay ki pabandi toh koyi tumse seekhe.. kitne baje ka time diya tha tujhe?” Rohan Ravinder ke aate hi uss par gurraya…
“oye hoye.. kya baat ho gayi yaara…? tension na le.. aa toh gaya na main.. dekh teri khatir bina nahaye hi bhag aaya hoon uthte hi… khali dryclean ki aur perfume laga liya..,” Ravinder ne agli baat dheere se uske kaan mein kahi,” maile kapdon mein hi.. dhule huye mile hi nahi yaar.. tune kal raat ko hi bataya…”
“tu nahi sudhrega…! train nikal di na.. train se chalne ka program tha.. ab bus se jana padega..” Rohan ne munh banaya…
” aisi bhi kya jaldi hai? aane wali apne aap sudhar degi.. koyi iss jaisi sohni..” paas se gujar rahi sunder si mast figure wali ladki ko dekhkar Ravinder ne jumla fainka… Ladki ne shayad baat sun li.. apni chal ko dheemi karke ladki ne Ravinder ko ghoora aur aage nikal gayi..
“dekh kaise dekh rahi thi.. mujhe aisi hi kisi ki jarurat hai.. laal mirchi jaisi.. jo mujhe sudhar sake.. hai na!.. he he he” Ravinder ne thodi aur tej aawaj mein baat kahkar ladki tak apni fariyaad pahuncha hi di….
“apni juban ko fevicol se chipka kar rakha kar.. nahi toh kisi din aisi dhulayi hogi ki..” Rohan ne wapas mudkar dekh rahi ladki ki taraf dekh kar aankhon hi aankhon mein khed prakat kiya..
“oye dhulayi wulayi chhod.. chal bus stand dhoondhte hain.. nahi toh bus nikalne ka theekra bhi mere hi sir fodega tu… baki ladki patakha thi yaar… nahi?” Ravinder ab bhi baaj nahi aaya…
“abey ye kya hai chacha… bus stand hi toh hai ye!” Rohan chilla utha…
“oh my God.. I’m so sorry.. main toh bhool hi gaya tha ki tune mujhe dobara fone karke bus-stand par aane ko bola tha.. par hum ja kahan rahe hain.. ye toh bata de…” Ravinder ka bolna badstoor jari tha…
“jahannum mein.. ab tu chup chap khada rah.. thodi der.. bus aane wali hai…”
“dekh bhai.. jannat mein chal ya jahannum mein.. par khatara bus mein mein nahi jaaunga.. nayi si bus honi chahiye koyi… express!” Ravinder ne kaha…
“humm.. tere baap dada ne airport banwa rakha hai yahan… khair.. uski chinta mat kar.. A.C. coach hai..”
“fir theek hai.. dekh bhai.. jahan bhi chalna hai.. mujhse baat mat karna.. raaste bhar sota jaaunga.. aaj 5 ghante pahle uthna pad gaya.. teri wajah se… waise chalna kahan hai yaar.. bata na…”
“tu chup hoga tabhi toh main baat karronga….yahan se amritsar chal rahe hain.. aage ki aage bataunga.. ab aur kuchh mat poochhna…!” Rohan ne usko kaha…
“Amritsar? Amritsar mein toh ek baar meri dadi kho gayi thi yaar… Swaran mandir ke aage kulchhe khane ke liye gadi se utar gayi.. aur mere dada ji ko yaad hi nahi raha ki unke sath dadi ji bhi hain.. bus.. fir kya tha.. gadi start karke chalte bane… baad mein dhyan aaya toh bade pareshan huye.. pata hai dhoondhte huye wapas aaye toh dadi kya karti mili…?” Ravinder tufan mail ki tarah tha….
“kya yaar?” Rohan ne khijkar kaha…
“kulchhe khate mili.. aur kya? kulchhe khane hi toh utari thi.. he he he”
“bus ab chup ho ja… bus aa gayi.. chal bag utha….” Rohan ne uska bhonpoo band karwaya aur bag uthakar wo bus ki taraf chal pade….
“aaha.. agar bus ki seat aisi hon toh fir ghar ka petrol kyun foonkna….! sach mein.. mast neend aayegi yahan toh..” Kahte huye Ravinder ne apne pair upar karke aage wali seat par rakhkar sone ka program set karna shuru kar diya..
aage wali seat se ek sardaar ji ne pichhe munh nikal kar Ravinder ko ghoora,” oye! poori bus ko khareed liya hai kya tune… pair toh neeche kar le…!”
“abhi kahan sardar ji.. abhi toh test drive par ja rahe hain… ha ha ha..” kahte huye Ravinder ne pair neeche rakhe aur apni belt dheeli karne laga….
“kya hua ji? kyun sara din seeng pinaye ghoomte rahte ho?.. seedhe nahi baitha jata kya?” sardarni apne sardaar par hi sawaar ho gayi…
“maine kya kaha hai lado.. mere kandhe par pair rakhega toh kya main boloon bhi nahi….. dekh.. teri gifted shirt par mitti laga di… bus.. isiliye gussa aa gaya tha…” Sardaar ji ne kheense niporte huye sardaarni ke aage ghutne tek diye..
achanak bus mein chadhi ek ladki ko dekh Rohan ki saanse wahin ki wahin tham gayi.. khule baalon ko suljhati huyi si wo ladki najrein neechi kiye huye apni seat ka no. dhoondhti huyi aa rahi thi… gore rang aur sammohit kar dene wale nayan naks ne Rohan ko kuchh palon ke liye baandh sa diya.. grey colour ki dharidar jean aur round neck ki white T-shirt ke upar collar wali light violet colour ki bina button ki jacket pahne uss ladki ki aankhon mein aisa jadu tha ki bus mein baitha har sakhs usko niharne laga…Rohan ka kshanik sammohan tabhi toota jab wo unke paas aakar khadi huyi..,”Excuse me! ye hamari seat hai…!”
Ravinder Rohan ko kahan bolne deta,” achchha.. seat sath lani padti hain kya ghar se? maine socha bus mein hi mil jati hongi…. koyi na ji.. aap bhi aa jao.. kafi choudi seat hai.. wo kya hai ki hum seat lana bhool gaye.. kyun Rohan?” kahkar Ravinder ek taraf ko khisak liya….
Ladki ko uski baat par hansi bhi aayi aur gussa bhi.. uski bedhangi baat se saham si gayi ladki ko achanak samajh nahi aaya ki kya bole.. wo kuchh bolti, iss’se pahle hi Rohan bol pada…,” Sorry miss! ye kabhi bus mein baitha nahi hai.. isiliye.. par mere khayal se ye hamari hi seat hai….!”
“achchha.. mere majak ko meri nasamajhi bata kar tu mera hi majak uda raha hai saa..” fir ladki ki aur dekhkar munh se nikal gayi gali ko wapas kheenchte huye bola,” wo kya hai ki.. jaise mard kabhi apni juban nahi badalte.. waise hi seat bhi nahi badalte.. par jao.. hamari seat dhoondh kar uss par baith jao.. hum bade hi naram dil wale hain.. kuchh nahi kahenge.. Kyun Rohan?” kahkar Ravinder ladki ki aur aankhein faad kar dekhne laga…
ladki ko achanak jane kya soojha.. usne khidki se bahar jhanka aur aawaj lagayi..,” Rituuuuuuuu.. jaldi aaaaaaaa!”
“kya hua?” ladki kuchh iss andaj mein upar chadhi jaise aapat sthiti mein kisi ne usko madad ke liye pukara ho… ladki wahi thi jis par Ravi ne bus-stand par khade hokar baaton hi baaton mein jumle kase the…,” Kya hua? koyi problem hai kya?”
Ritu se apne liye itni humdardi pakar ladki subakne lagi,” ye hamari seat nahi chhod rahe…”
“tum? ” Ritu Ravi ko pahchan kar gusse se aag baboola ho gayi…
“ohh.. hum ek dusre ko jaante hain kya? meri yadast thodi kamjor hain.. par dekh lo.. tumhara naam abhi bhi mujhe yaad hai.. Ritu!.. waise.. kahan mile hain hum pahle..?” Ravi ne seena taante huye batteesi nikal di..
“abhi batati hoon… chalo.. utho yahan se.. nahi toh abhi police uncle ko bulati hoon…” Ritu ne taish mein aakar baanh chadha kar kulhon par hath jama liye…
“police mama tumhare uncle hain kya? hamari toh waise hi rishtedari nikal aayi… he he he..” Ravi kahan kabu mein aata….?
“chal uth na yaar.. pichhe wali seat hogi hamari.. sorry.. miss.. don’t mind pls..” kahte huye Rohan ne khada hokar Ravi ko kheench liya… majbooran ravi ko uthna pada… aur dono pichhe wali seat par jakar baith gaye…
“yeyyy..” ladki ne pichhe dekh kar Ravi ko apne najuk hathon ke doley bana kar chidaya,” pata hai Ritu.. mard kabhi apni seat nahi badalte… ha ha ha ha…”
Ravi kuchh bolta, iss’se pahle hi Rohan ne uske munh ko apne hath se daba diya,” kuchh mat bol yaar.. ladkiyan hain.. khamkha panga ho jayega…”
becharon ko baithe poora 1 minute bhi nahi beeta hoga ki ek joda aakar unke paas khada ho gaya,” Excuse me.. ye hamari seat hai…”
Ravi se raha na gaya… amitabh ki aawaj ki nakal karte huye bola,” jao.. pahle wo seat dekh kar aao jis par hamara no. likha hai.. ye lo hamari ticket… hayein..”
Mariyal se uss aadhe ganje ho chuke ladke ne chupchap tickets pakad li.. aur no. dekhte hi bola..,” sir yahi toh hain aapki seat.. aagey wali…”
“kya? kya kaha? fir se bolna mere yaar.. pls…” Ravi uchhal kar seat se khada ho gaya..
“haan sir.. yahi toh hain.. 13-14 no.. ye ladkiyan galati se baith gayi lagti hain..” ladke ne dohraya..
“oye hoye.. laale di jaan.. ji karta hai tera sir choom loon..” Ravi ne ek pal bhi nahi lagaya aage wali seat tak pahunchne mein,” A.. uthti hai ya police mama ko bulaaun? ha ha ha ha ha.. mard kabhi apni seat nahi chhodte…”
Ab ladkiyon ko bhi thoda shak hua.. Ritu ne kaha,” dhang se dekh ek baar.. hamari seat ka no..”
ladki ne apni jeb se tickets nikali aur boli,” yahi toh hain.. 8-9 no.”
“chal uth yahan se.. 8-9 no. agli seats ka hai… seat no. seat ke pichhe likha hota hai pagal…” aur dono ladkiyan jhenpte huye seat chhodne lagi…
“wah wah wah wah.. aajkal ladkiyan bhi dole shole dikhane lagi hain.. kya baat hai.. wah wah!” Ravi se iss mouke ka fayda uthaye bina raha na gaya…
“chup kar yaar.. bahut ho gaya.. galati kisi se bhi ho sakti hai…” Rohan ne usko shant rahne ki salah di….
bechari dono ladkiyan sardaar ji ke paas pahunch gayi,” Excuse me uncle.. ye seat hamari hai…”
“oye kamaal kar rahi ho kudiyo.. abhi inn bachchon ke pichhe padi thi.. ab hamein pareshan karne aa gayi.. sari seat tumhari hain kya? ye dekho hamare no. 8-9. seedhe bhatinda tak ki hain…” Sardaar ne seena thonk kar kaha…
Ravi jo unki baatein bade gour se sun raha tha, tapak se bola,” par tau.. bus toh amritsar ja rahi hai….”
“hain? kya?” Sardaarji ne chounkte huye poochha…
“aur kya? ” kahkar ladkiyan bhi hansne lagi….
“oh teri.. hamari toh bus hi nikal gayi.. main bhi kahoon aaj bus itni laye kaise hai…?” Sardaarji sakpakakar khade huye aur apna saaman utaarne lage….
“le.. kab seekhega tu seedhe raste chalna.. mere toh karam hi foot gaye tere sath byah karke..” Sardaarni sardarji ko kosti huyi uske pichhe pichhe bus se utar gayi…
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